Siblings

To give Riley a sibling or not to give Riley a sibling – that is the question!

My husband Shane and I had decided that we would have one more. I’ve even been telling people when they ask “when’s the next one coming” that we be trying again next year after our Cape Trip in July/August. Riley would be just over two years old by that point, so he’d be somewhere over three by the time the second child came along.

I am an only child and I always dreamt of having a brother, but like a best mate brother. Initially after having Riley I was so traumatised, I was firm that I was NEVER HAVING ANYMORE. Once I managed to get over thinking that my body had failed me (36 hours of labour, 2 hours of pushing & then had to have an emergency C-section to get the stuck bugger out). It took me a good six months to get over it and realise, umm no your body didn’t fail you, look at that beautiful happy healthy baby boy, yeah your body made that, your body is an awesome miracle maker. From the moment I met Riley I knew he was worth it, but it took me that extra six months to realise I am strong enough to do it again. Women, we are so wonderfully awesome.

My dad comes from a large family and always wanted more than one kid, he’s often joked that he wants 6 -8 grandchildren, yeah not happening buddy. My mum thinks one is a good number, speaking from the experience of only having to cart me around traveling, camping etc.

We took Riley on his first camping trip over Easter and it all went wonderfully, but we’d majorly have to rethink our sleeping arguments and probably have to tow a trailer for all the a extra gear we’d need for two – but that’s minor stuff and I can figure that out when the time comes.

What’s really got me in a funk and has always worried me is Shane’s younger and only sibling Michael. The hell the two of them put their mother through infuriates me! I’m constantly saying to Shane “remember all that shit we went through during labour, feeding in the middle of the night, red bums and constant screaming, Yeah your mum did all that shit you”. When I was set firm on not having a second I made the joke “I got the Shane in Riley, the older brother, even though he can be winey and sooky, he’s mostly a calm happy baby and I don’t want the Michael, the second son, bonces of the walls, short temper, happy only when things go his way. Michael’s son is exactly like him, scares me. Hell I’m very much like him, I bounce of walls, I have a short temper, BUT I have more respect for others and I’d like to think I don’t always have to have things my way, but I’m sure others would say different.

So my husband and his brother don’t have a good relationship and that scares me. I don’t want to give Riley a little brother that’s going to drive him crazy all the time, I want to give him a best friend for life. I look at my cousins, the care and concern one of them has for his older brother. I was recently at one of my cousin’s weddings and the love between him and his little sister just melted me, made me go YES I must give Riley this. Then all this shit with Shane’s family flares up again. SO HELP ME what the fuck am I meant to do. I’m an only child I don’t get it!!! What makes you mates and what makes you enemies. Shane and Michael had separate rooms growing up, but shared a lot of similar interests, sailing, archery etc. My father shared a room with two of his brothers and they survived. My mum shared a room with her sister and I’ve never really heard stories of them fighting. Does the joint room thing make any difference? Riley and the new baby would have their own room. I like my own space so feel I should give them theirs.

I look at the bad times and go, hell no I don’t want this doubled, then I look at the good times and go, YES I want this doubled. But really what it boils down to is I want to give Riley the best life possible. I thought he needed siblings for that, that if I don’t give him a brother or sister he’ll be alone. But the bullshit between Shane and his brother makes me think otherwise 😦 Oh the dramas of a developed nation – Any who tell me your thoughts?

Who out there was an only child went and had siblings, would you suggest it?

Who out there had siblings that decided NO only to have one?

How did your siblings shape you?

How many Children have you got or are hoping to have and why?

Please child stop crying

This poem came to me this morning while I had a sooky, sleepy baby sitting in my lap, I thought you all might enjoy it.

Please child stop crying

Yes there is no denying

You’re in pain

Please child stop crying

Your tears are driving me insane

Please child stop crying

The way you are screaming

With your wet cheeks gleaming

The neighbours will think you’re dying

I keep and keep trying

To sooth and calm you

Please child stop crying

You’re making me cry to

Please kid I’ve only got 2 hands

And I’ve done all I can

And it’s really hard to think at 2am

Please child stop crying

Go to sleep

Come on there’s no harm in trying

Mummy will pass out on the floor and try to

My son is going to be an artist?

I just finished cleaning up after my seven month old son Riley made me a finger painting, on the bathroom tiles, with his own spew.

I was in the bathroom and Riley was sitting on the floor next to me, right when I was unable to grab him he vomited (milk spit up) and proceeded to rub it around the tiles and make patterns. He made a rather large mess on the floor and was looking up at me smiling proudly.

He just frowned at me as I picked him up and moved him then continued to clean up his ‘art’.

Oh the Joy of Parenthood.

 

 

Life Lately

I haven’t had time to post much lately, things have been rather hectic.

I’ve lost many hours and been through a great deal of stress trying to get everything organised for my son to start day care next week. So I’m already upset at the fact that I’m losing my baby boy to strangers, then I get dicked around by the government over child care rebates – NOT HAPPY JAN!!! Anyway I got it all sorted today finally, but DAMN why does everything have to be so hard!

I’m constantly on edge at the moment and it’s really starting to get on top of me – I NEED A BREAK – but as a mum I’ll never get one again. Just when I think I’m at my lowest point, in the darkest frame of mind I’ve ever been in, I get lower and it gets darker, I’m swinging like a god damn chimpanzee.

I did have a high light on Tuesday, it was my son’s first swimming lesson. I was really nervous, but Riley seemed to have a good time. He loves the water, he was one of the few babies who didn’t cry. When he was supposed to be floating on his back he kicked his legs and when he was supposed to be kicking he was just staring at the ceiling or watching the other babies – Yep that’s my boy easily distracted and doesn’t do what he’s told (sounds just like me all the way through school).

Tomorrow is February first so I’m going to get back on the band wagon with the 365 post challenge, I haven’t managed to do it for a few days now.

Also tomorrow I’ll be attending a day course on creative writing run by the Hunter Writers Centre. Really the last thing I feel like doing at the moment is going to a course in town, I’d rather stay in bed for a month straight in a dark quiet cave, but I know I’ll enjoy myself one I get there. I hope! I’m going to have to try a shut the real world out for the day.

Growing up too fast!!

Tomorrow my little baby boy will be seven months old. Today he started to wear “Toddler” Nappies, yes my seven month old son is now wearing nappies for toddlers. Riley’s not a Fat baby if that’s what you’re thinking, No he’s just a big boy! Built like a rugby player, solid and strong. I’m rather upset about it, he’s growing too fast!!!! And also tomorrow I’ll be another year older! Yep I’d say I’m not going to have a good day tomorrow, but I’ll try to stay positive!

Train Trip

So on Friday Riley had his first Train ride and his first trip to Sydney. Everything went quite well and he was well behaved, be it quite noisy on the train trying to talk to everyone in his own way, but he seemed to enjoy himself. He was so tired from his Sydney adventure that he fell asleep on my lap while I was giving him his bottle, he hasn’t done that since he was about three months old. He was fast asleep in my arms, I managed to change his nappy and put him in his sleeping bag, then into his cot all without him waking up, yep he was exhausted, and it was wonderful.Sleeping Angel

This Kid!!

So I’m sitting on the lounge, Riley’s playing happily and we get a knock at the door. I go and answer the door, it’s just some people picking up some of Riley’s things I’m giving away that he doesn’t need anymore. As I’m walking back into the living room Riley is staring me down, he continues to death stare me until I sit back on the lounge. Once I’m sitting down he goes back to playing happily. WTF! Mate, aren’t I ever aloud to leave the lounge – OK 🙂 Riley U convince your dad then.

Riley

A Poem to My Son.

The stars up above are shining bright, I will stay close by you till its light.

Though the daylight may lead me away, I’ll always come back, love works that way.

While you lay still and dream your dreams, Loves all around you, I’ll always be on your team.

How much I love, you’ll never know, but each and every day I’ll try to show.

A big strong boy into whom you shall grow, a long happy life you shall know.

Friends and adventures, you’ll have more than a few, awesomeness inside you I grew.

You’ll love Kittens, Rats, Puppies and Quails, in fact all animals, even the ones without a tail.

Trains, Planes, Cars and 4WD’s, you’ll use them all to travel wide.

No matter how far Riley you roam from home, you’ll always have love around you wherever you go.

 

 

Velociraptors & Babies

I am convinced I do not have a baby boy; I in fact have a little velociraptor.

Remember Velociraptors the freakishly intelligent dinosaurs in Jurassic park, really good at tracking their pray, opening doors and what not.

I came to the conclusion the other day when he was sitting on my lap that he in fact was not a baby boy but a little velociraptor; he was sitting in my lap holding his arms up like the dinosaurs do in the movie and giving me one of his death stares. While staring into my eyes he giggled and with the speed of a striking snake grabbed my thumb, shoved it in his mouth, bit down as hard as he could and then giggled again.

My clever little velociraptor tracks me with his eyes no matter where I go, chews on whatever body part he can get to, my neck, arm, leg, hands, fingers, nose, chin etc. etc.

He just stares at me, with these awesome murderous looks, I always wonder what is going on in his head, I often imagine he is planning my murder and how he intends to cook me.

When he stares into my eyes and stares me down, it often scares me as I wonder if he can read my soul.

unnamedraptor

Oh how I love him So!!!!!!!!!!

Attempting to start a Blog

So this is me attempting to start a blog, why you ask, well because It’s seems like a good idea at this present time and I’ve been advised to do so – hey maybe it’ll even be therapeutic LOL.

So I went to a Publishing workshop Run by the Hunter Writers Center on the weekend.  I went because I thought it would be interesting and it was extremely so.  On the day the HWC had managed to get Mark Maclean, Dionne Lister & Christine Bruderlin to come and talk – all very knowledgeable and interesting people in their own right.

I already knew before, but Dionne’s advice confirmed it – I NEED to learn how to write better. Now I don’t mean so much on the creative side just yet, but on the nuts and bolts of writing (as in punctuation skills etc LOL) – so I’m going to have to look into that.

I’ve recently become a mum.  My little man turned a full four months old yesterday and oh wow how my life has changed – most of which for the better. I’m really really really not looking forward to trying to figure out how to work a 9-5 back into the mix though.

We had a fairly easy pregnancy, but the labour and his birth was anything but, I won’t go into details, but I think I will be mentally scared for the rest of my life. I’d go through the torment again for him (don’t think I’d do it for anyone else, so he might just stay an only child) but for him I would, he’s so amazing and awesome, I love this little man so much it hurts, I never thought I could love something so much, defiantly TRUE LOVE.

My son is nearly always with me so on the rare occasion he’s not, I always forget that he isn’t, as in; I’ll be talking to him and he’s not there, walking around to the other side of the car to get him out of his baby capsule (but he’s at home with his dad) or missing out on the few moments when I can turn my stereo up full-ball and make the whole car vibrate from the sub-woofer in the boot. That’s the one thing I’ve missed since having my son – I miss driving around with the music up as loud as I can before my ears feel like they’re going to pop. Now I’m not some little teenager, I’ve just got an addiction to LOUD music with lots of base. I’ve always been that way with music. I used to turn my stereo up so loud as a kid that the speakers would vibrate off of the shelves. I’ve always found music moves me in a way nothing else can, more like I can feel the music rather than hear it, but I think that’s just one of the awesome traits you get as an Aquarius.

Just thought of one other thing I miss LOL –  I quit smoking when a found out I was pregnant and have stayed off the smokes as I don’t want to do anything that could harm my son, but I was at a friend’s wedding recently and I was having my first real drink since I found out I was pregnant (Obviously I’m no longer breastfeeding) anyways so I’m drinking, it’s a wonderful wedding, Amy looked amazing, but my goodness there was a lot of smokers there – it made me crave one soooooo bad, but I was a good girl and held out. Not sure what the point of telling you that was LOL.

Not sure what’s the point of telling you any of this LOL oh wait that’s the point – there is no point – awesome, glad we cleared that up – have a nice day :-P.