Promises to my sons

I will lose my shit and yell at you.
I will lose my cool and fly off the rails. It’s what I do.
I will swear repeatedly, and I don’t fucking care if you swear, as long as you grow up to care about the world and the people around you.
As long as you always try your hardest, I don’t care if you fail.
I don’t care who you love as long as you are happy, and that person isn’t human trash.
I will love you even when you make me angry.
I will love you even when you hate me.
I will show you that women hold the power of life.
I will teach you that you should worship the women in your life.
I will teach you not to force yourself onto anyone; emotionally or sexually.
I will teach you that consent can only be given when someone is sober and of sound mind, that consent cannot be coerced or pressured.

You are white,
and you are male,

and if I ever catch you abusing that privilege I will knock you down.

I will raise you as an equalist.
I will teach you that human is human.
Love is love and blood is blood.
Race, religion, gender, sexuality and bank accounts mean nothing to a bullet, mean nothing as your body decomposes.
I will raise you to see that every living thing has value.
I will raise you to be a hu-man.

 

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Dandelion’s Play

photo 1 (2)Yesterday I introduced Riley to his first Dandelion

When I first handed it to him to meet it

He quickly tried to eat it

Then crushed it in his hand and watched the fluff float away

Whenever I pass by a dandelion

The little girl inside me starts a crying

And I must pluck that dandelion and play

Make a wish and blow the fluff away

I always wish for the same thing

And my heart always sings as I watch the fluff float away

Next time you see a dandelion make sure you stop and greet it

Pick it up and meet it

Make a wish and watch your worries float away

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A dandelion can grow just about anywhere they truly are a remarkable plant. Every part of the dandelion is useful: root, leaves and flower. It can be used for food, medicine and dye for colouring.

The dandelion is the only flower that represents the 3 celestial bodies of the sun, moon and stars. The yellow flower resembles the sun, the puff ball resembles the moon and the dispersing seeds resemble the stars.

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Siblings

To give Riley a sibling or not to give Riley a sibling – that is the question!

My husband Shane and I had decided that we would have one more. I’ve even been telling people when they ask “when’s the next one coming” that we be trying again next year after our Cape Trip in July/August. Riley would be just over two years old by that point, so he’d be somewhere over three by the time the second child came along.

I am an only child and I always dreamt of having a brother, but like a best mate brother. Initially after having Riley I was so traumatised, I was firm that I was NEVER HAVING ANYMORE. Once I managed to get over thinking that my body had failed me (36 hours of labour, 2 hours of pushing & then had to have an emergency C-section to get the stuck bugger out). It took me a good six months to get over it and realise, umm no your body didn’t fail you, look at that beautiful happy healthy baby boy, yeah your body made that, your body is an awesome miracle maker. From the moment I met Riley I knew he was worth it, but it took me that extra six months to realise I am strong enough to do it again. Women, we are so wonderfully awesome.

My dad comes from a large family and always wanted more than one kid, he’s often joked that he wants 6 -8 grandchildren, yeah not happening buddy. My mum thinks one is a good number, speaking from the experience of only having to cart me around traveling, camping etc.

We took Riley on his first camping trip over Easter and it all went wonderfully, but we’d majorly have to rethink our sleeping arguments and probably have to tow a trailer for all the a extra gear we’d need for two – but that’s minor stuff and I can figure that out when the time comes.

What’s really got me in a funk and has always worried me is Shane’s younger and only sibling Michael. The hell the two of them put their mother through infuriates me! I’m constantly saying to Shane “remember all that shit we went through during labour, feeding in the middle of the night, red bums and constant screaming, Yeah your mum did all that shit you”. When I was set firm on not having a second I made the joke “I got the Shane in Riley, the older brother, even though he can be winey and sooky, he’s mostly a calm happy baby and I don’t want the Michael, the second son, bonces of the walls, short temper, happy only when things go his way. Michael’s son is exactly like him, scares me. Hell I’m very much like him, I bounce of walls, I have a short temper, BUT I have more respect for others and I’d like to think I don’t always have to have things my way, but I’m sure others would say different.

So my husband and his brother don’t have a good relationship and that scares me. I don’t want to give Riley a little brother that’s going to drive him crazy all the time, I want to give him a best friend for life. I look at my cousins, the care and concern one of them has for his older brother. I was recently at one of my cousin’s weddings and the love between him and his little sister just melted me, made me go YES I must give Riley this. Then all this shit with Shane’s family flares up again. SO HELP ME what the fuck am I meant to do. I’m an only child I don’t get it!!! What makes you mates and what makes you enemies. Shane and Michael had separate rooms growing up, but shared a lot of similar interests, sailing, archery etc. My father shared a room with two of his brothers and they survived. My mum shared a room with her sister and I’ve never really heard stories of them fighting. Does the joint room thing make any difference? Riley and the new baby would have their own room. I like my own space so feel I should give them theirs.

I look at the bad times and go, hell no I don’t want this doubled, then I look at the good times and go, YES I want this doubled. But really what it boils down to is I want to give Riley the best life possible. I thought he needed siblings for that, that if I don’t give him a brother or sister he’ll be alone. But the bullshit between Shane and his brother makes me think otherwise 😦 Oh the dramas of a developed nation – Any who tell me your thoughts?

Who out there was an only child went and had siblings, would you suggest it?

Who out there had siblings that decided NO only to have one?

How did your siblings shape you?

How many Children have you got or are hoping to have and why?

Shine

Shine by Justine Edward

Goodreads Synopsis:

Shine is a children’s book with a BIG difference. Designed to empower and encourage, this series of positive affirmations will have children smiling from ear to ear. Illustrated by 7 yr old Karl Gabriel who has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Shine helps all children to understand that anything is possible if they believe in themselves.

My Thoughts:

This is a truly beautiful book, a book you should read to your children over and over again.

Justine’s words are heart felt, beautifully written, flow together and roll of the tongue with ease.

I actually feel this is not just a children’s book, us adults need to be reminded that anything is possible also.

Five stars all round

More info on this book see – https://www.facebook.com/JustineEdwardAuthor

Children Learn What They Live

Children Learn What They Live, By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Before my son was born, when we were doing our parenting classes at the John Hunter Hospital, this (the above) was given as a handout to all expectant parents, I really liked it and it stuck with me, so I thought I would share it with you all.

Dorothy Law Nolte was an American writer, she wrote a column in a newspaper about raising children and she was family counselor who was born in 1924 and died in 2005.  – also I’d just like to point out that she wrote this in 1972!