Promises to my sons

I will lose my shit and yell at you.
I will lose my cool and fly off the rails. It’s what I do.
I will swear repeatedly, and I don’t fucking care if you swear, as long as you grow up to care about the world and the people around you.
As long as you always try your hardest, I don’t care if you fail.
I don’t care who you love as long as you are happy, and that person isn’t human trash.
I will love you even when you make me angry.
I will love you even when you hate me.
I will show you that women hold the power of life.
I will teach you that you should worship the women in your life.
I will teach you not to force yourself onto anyone; emotionally or sexually.
I will teach you that consent can only be given when someone is sober and of sound mind, that consent cannot be coerced or pressured.

You are white,
and you are male,

and if I ever catch you abusing that privilege I will knock you down.

I will raise you as an equalist.
I will teach you that human is human.
Love is love and blood is blood.
Race, religion, gender, sexuality and bank accounts mean nothing to a bullet, mean nothing as your body decomposes.
I will raise you to see that every living thing has value.
I will raise you to be a hu-man.

 

Thanks for visiting sarahfairbairn.com 🙂
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Now you are two

Most days

the only thing that holds me together

is you.

You are my breaking point

and my glue.

For you the world must seem so shiny,

bright

and new.

At only two

you still have your whole life

in front of you.

As for me

I am about thirty eight percent through.

But Here’s hoping

for a million more days with you.


My littlest baby turned two yesterday. And I am just sitting here stunned wondering where the last two years have gone. Ethan has turned into an adventurous, hyperactive, tantrum throwing, food loving, wonder inducing little boy.

Thanks for visiting The Adventures of SacaKat.
Until next time, enjoy your shelves :-).

Life Update: Season’s Greetings and all that Jazz

Our second little man has entered the world! I had a spare five minuets so I though I would share my good news.

Ethan was born at 11.50 am on the 14th December. He weighed a whopping 4.42 kilograms (9.7 pounds), we already knew he was going to be big, as was his brother. He is big, beautiful and healthy and we are happy to be all home together.  So far Riley has warmed to the idea of being a big brother. But as an only child I am now in uncharted sibling territory. meeting-ethan

My mother knitted a Christmas hat and stocking specifically to take some cutesy photo’s of Ethan to print out for all the great grandparents and aunties. This is a big thing! My mother doesn’t knit! But we got the shots, so her effort paid off.img_8248

Anyways, I’m going to go take a nap while I can. I wish you all happiness and health during the holidays. I will be back to book blogging as soon as I can ❤ 🙂 ❤

My Misadventures in Procrastination

I have so much stuff to do and I’m running out of time – Yet here I am procrastinating by writing a blog post about it.p9x7by

Three will become four (well six if you include the fur-babies) on around the 22nd of December. The house will be bursting full, as will my head. But before I start maternity leave with Baby #2 I have a whole bunch of stuff I need to get set up/finished off to make life easier for everyone at work while I’m away. It’s a small family business so I actually care and it’s nice to try and make things as easy as possible for the others. I’ve still got two TAFE assignments to hand in before December and I’ve still got to clean out the junk room and turn it into a nursery. No one will be getting Christmas cards this year, that s*** will just not be happening.

I’ve been feeling very unreviewy lately 😦 which is probably obvious given the mini review posts I’ve been doing. I’ve only got two review ARC’s left and they just need reviews up before November. I’ll definitely have to keep myself off of NetGalley for the next six or so months if I want any chance of retaining my sanity post Baby #2. I still intend to read as much as possible, but at least if I’m reading books I’ve purchased I don’t have to write a review if I don’t feel up to it. I actually got quite a lot books read while I was off on maternity leave with Riley. When he was awake I’d read aloud whatever I was in the middle of, it always put him back to sleep – Thank you Rick Riordan whose whole Percy Jackson series we devoured at that time.

Once I get on top of my pre-baby to do list – hahahahahahaha, seriously you should see the f***ing list – my reading plan will be to catch up on any series I’ve started, then to tackle the ageing of my TBR. The oldest book on my Goodreads TBR was added back in 2013. I’m now only 3 years behind lol, actually I think that’s pretty good. My plan is to bounce between the eldest on my list and a new release so I can get through all my old amazon kindle purchases but still feel like I know whats going on in the book blogger world. But for now >>>>dmwny

Yes like writing this blog post :-P.

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Yes, yes it has :-P.

imagesMine as well! Can I get a hell yeah, HELL YEAH!

Until next time 🙂 enjoy your shelves :-).

Dear Diary: I want a sleep in!

He stands next to my bed smiling at me. The most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.

The cheeky devil is lucky he’s so damn cute. He is up, so as far as he is concerned the rest of us should be.

“Mummy get up” he squeals as he jumps up and down with way too much enthusiasm for six o’clock on a Sunday morning, especially after waking three times during the night demanding a drink and his blanket to be pulled back up.

“It’s still nigh nigh time buddy (I yawn) It’s still dark outside (I stretch) Go back to sleep (I roll over).”

“NOOOOOOO Mummy get up”.

Buzz Lightyear’s turbo boosters ignite at the touch of my son’s finger, then he crashes into my head announcing “To infinity and beyond”.

I get up and slump out to the kitchen to make some Crumpets, his current favourite.

“Cartoons on the TB Mummy”.

I turn on ABC kids so I can go and have a shower in peace.

There is a crash, a yelp of pain, and a “Riley what are you doing”, followed by a grumpy and tired Daddy stomping down the hall.

Charge gives a howl and Ellie a bark to let us know the commotion has gotten their attention. The whole house is awake and it’s only ten past six. Good job Riley, let’s see if you’re so keen to start the day in ten years’ time when you’re a teenager, ha.

I stand in the shower with the heat right up and ponder the long term effects of sleep deprivation. I sigh knowing all this will only get worse once the second child arrives.

The New Year

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Christmas is over for another year

and as it goes it drains me of all my cheer

Regardless of your religion I hope you got to be with the ones you love

And found solace in whatever you believe is above

We go into the new year with the world in distress

The minority hurting the majority and making a mess

Mother nature is crying but no one hears

Because some bloody mongrels are shouting out bad ideas

Ignore these monsters

We can block them out by standing together

Forgetting our differences

and just loving each other

It is in mankind’s nature to only think of its self

Hence why the earth is disintegrating into hell

plant a tree and get to know your neighbour

recycle as much as you can and never renege on a favour

We’ve all got problems

but this world is in serious decline

I want there to be a happy healthy world in which my children can grow

Not this dark and decaying one that is starting to show

kisses

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and you got be be with the people you love. I was lucky enough to get to be with most of the people I hold dear.

Now I’m going to have some time away from the internet; bar Facebook and Instagram, as I don’t want to give up seeing everybody hanging out taking happy snaps and enjoying time with family :-).

I’ll be back on the 8th of January with a release day sneak peek for a lovely lady and her paranormal detective series. I’ll return to my regular posting schedule on the 17th with my first Bookish Babble of 2016. I’ll see you then.

Sunday is cleaning day

43346_set_of_rubber_gloves-30182317_std I used to enjoying cleaning my parents’ house for pocket money as a teenager. Money meant red skins, CDs and cigarettes (sorry mum). But now I have to do it for free, ok I do love a clean house and yes the mould and fungi won’t kill us if I kill it first, but that’s just not enough – I still hate it. I feel like I’m wasting my time. Damn baby and husband are just going to mess the place up again. Life is too short for cleaning dishes, scrubbing toilets and hanging out washing on the line. I’d much rather spend my Sundays reading. Maybe one day I’ll be rich enough to hire a cleaner. That’s the dream. For the time being I am slowly training my son to help me; he will pick up and put away his toys, he will pick up his dad’s dirty clothes and put them in the washing basket, he will pick up his dads shoes and put them back in the wardrobe. If you give him a cloth he’ll wipe over table tops and bench tops, not that he can apply enough pressure to actually do much and he has very short arms, but he seems to enjoy it (and currently I only have to pay him in hugs).

kisses

Crying Babies

“Why is it that I am always the only one who hears our son crying in the night?” I ask for the millionth time.

I wake even when my son makes the slightest carry on, but my husband sleeps soundly on. Well he sleeps soundly on unless it’s the second time my son’s woken up during the night and I elbow my husband in the ribs until he wakes up, then inform him it’s his turn to check on the baby (I say baby even though he’s eighteen months old now and I’m not sure if he’s technically still a baby). To my husband’s credit, if I wake him and tell him to go check on our son, he normally does it with minimal grumbling.

It used to be that my son would wake up and just want a hug or bottle then be happy to go back to sleep, but in the last 6 months or so it’s been more like he’s having nightmares. You go in to check on him and he’s still asleep. It is rather disturbing seeing my baby boy tossing and turning, screaming with tears rolling out of closed eyes. Thankfully just picking him up or patting his back or tummy does the trick and he goes back in a calm sleep.

I remember reading somewhere that it’s hardwired into a woman’s brain to register those high pitched distressed tones of one’s offspring. But dang it, I tell you I’d like a night where I sleep through and my husband wakes up.

^ Riley awake and happy In his cot ^

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^ Shane, Riley and I ^

I call mine Lancy

Do you have a name for your car? I call mine Lancy. Lancy is the perfect mummies car, she has a nice compact exterior for easy parking, but she’s roomy inside with a lovely large wagon back end, plenty of room for baby, pram, food shopping etc. I’ve owned Lancy, a Mitsubishi Lancer Wagon for over a year now and it was only the other day when I was driving into Newcastle that I decided she needed her own name. I was willing her to overtake a truck up a hill – my inner monologue was something along the lines of: “Come on get up the hill, come on Betsy you can do it, hmm I can’t call her Betsy, umm Lancer, Lance, no not lance it’s a she, Lancy? Yeah that’ll do, Come on Lancy you can do it”. She totally over took the truck, redlining it. All my Cars have had names, hence why I thought Lancy deserved her own.Lancy Love

My first car was a little Ford Laser hatchback which my father gave me when I got my licence. My friends and I named Her Noah because she was filled with all sorts of stuffed animals, in my head Noah was female just super cool with a male name. Noah used to spend her time: going on late night drives to Gosford, playing music too loud, speeding around corners too fast, rubbing her belly on dirt roads and fire trails and playing chicken with guard rails up at Mt Sugarloaf. Noah only had a little engine, but before I got her she was in good nick, she had a light little body and was quite nimble. I think about Noah often and hope she’s loved wherever she is now.

I sold Noah to buy a Suzuki Vitara 4WD wagon, something a bit more capable on the dirt roads of the Watagan Mountains that I’d come to love driving. I don’t quite remember naming the Suzuki, but she became Betsy in the end. “Come on Betsy, you can do it, you can do it” Betsy’s little clapped out 1.6 engine didn’t like to move much. Once she got wound up a roundabout or corner would always come along and I’d been screaming “f*#k hold on Betsy, please Betsy” as the rear tyres squealed and bounced sideways. Betsy spent her time: on the beach, playing music too loud, bouncing around the Riffle Range, running over gutters and freaking out people in car parks (she used to pull up and smoke would rise from under her bonnet as she had messy leaks that required extra oil and water to be carried at all times). I sold Betsy when she became unused as I was walking to work and had my husband’s Patrol to drive. Betsy went to a young fella who loved her, but crashed her, she’s a cube now.

Bombodore, the Holden VT Commodore sedan. F*#k me I loved this car. I used to drive it around whenever my parents would go away – because driving a Commodore was way cooler than driving my laser, especially to go lapping in town. My mother owned her for ten years, and then I owned her for another four. She was Me. She was Family. She was Heavy, Noisy, Oily, Big, Boisterous and Beautiful. I have fond memories of riding in her as a child, found memories of freaking out my dad when he took for a driving lesson in her and found memories of the first time I drove her around in a circle in the dirt. The Bombodore spent her time: chewing up tyres and fuel, going around in circles in the dirt, playing music too loud and driving around aimlessly smelling like tobacco. She’s a cube now, I ran her into the ground and she enjoyed every minute of it, as did I. I will always love her.

There was also a point in time where I road my dad’s Honda 110 Postie Bike around, I crashed it twice and then went and bought a Honda 125 Scooter, I then fell pregnant and sold the scooter.

Anyway back to Lancy. Lancy spends her time: taking my son to swimming lessons and doing the food shopping. Umm yeah, Lancy hasn’t met a dirt road and she hasn’t had a sub-woofer and aftermarket speakers fitted – Yet – I’ve promised her there will be a time when she gets to enjoy playing music too loud and driving around aimlessly, once my sons older.

I feel that each car I’ve owned has matched the point I was at in my life. Maybe it’s that our cars are an extension of ourselves – Would you agree?

These Days

Today is Photo Day at My son’s Day-Care center so I’ve dressed him up all spiffy in an adorable and highly appropriate yellow Little Monster t-shirt. Yes it will be interesting to see how dirty it is by the time they take his photo – I’ll let you know.

Riley’s newest obsession is shoes. If you leave a pair out he will slip his teeny tiny feet inside them and try to walk around, it is quite amusing to watch. He has also discovered throwing tantrums. The past two weeks I’ve gotten a tantrum every time I’ve tried to drop him off at Day-care, a tantrum every time I’ve taken something off him he isn’t supposed to play with (like his father’s work computer), tantrums when he wants to run off down the street and isn’t aloud, tantrums here tantrums there. Picture this; after a day a work you are having a glass of wine, while your toddler is trying to swipe your glass off of the table, you tell him No and hold the glass up in the air, he proceeds to throw himself on the ground and scream like a banshee – yeah I pretend he’s not there and finish my glass, her usually gives up after a while. I give him cuddles at Day-care and ignore the tantrums the rest of the time. I don’t know whether or not it’s the “right” way to handle it, but really I don’t care.

We’ve only got a few boxes left to unpack and we’ll be settled into our new home. You know the kind of boxes I mean, the ones where you stuff all the random stuff you don’t want to get rid of but have no place for – yeah four boxes of the left overs. I can’t bring myself to go through them so they are just sitting in the front room, I’m hoping if I leave them there long enough they will magically sort themselves out.

When we first moved in I planted a vertical herb garden in the backyard, shortly after our dog attacked and ate most of the said herb garden, so it has now been moved out the front to hide from her along with my Yakka’s and Native flowers.

In the rental property we lived in before we bought our house we never had a land line phone, just our mobiles (and mobile internet) but as we are now living in our own place we decided to get a land line Phone (mainly so we could get fast and reliable internet). I’ve only given the land line number to my mother as we don’t really intend on using it as a phone BUT the phone rings regularly – Dreaded Telemarketers.  I don’t answer our new phone.